But that's the thing... I just lie to myself 'cause I don't think I can do it.
Do you ever feel like your heart is crushed and no matter how much you don't want to cry you just have to, it's the only thing that h=eases that pain in your heart... but it doesn't really ease it at all... I feel like that right now... and there are days where I feel worse... dunno how I'm gonna sleep tonight.

I started volunteering for a charity near where I live, but the anxiety got the better of me and couldn't do it. I dunno... I'm gonna have to force myself to do a bit of volunteering otherwise I won't get myself out of this mess.
But, realistically it's gonna take me years to get enough money together to move out...