zen,
there's nothing wrong with telling someone you don't want them to just land in on you. she was acting like you should just throw open your door and allow her in no matter how she treats you.
if i was in that situation and needing to tell her how i felt and withdraw her permission to come over i think i would have gone ahead and told her the truth, as in: so and so, when you just announced you were coming to my house tomorrow without even asking me, i felt invaded, upset, treated rudely..... Friends need to ask for favors, not just assume them. We are not so close that i am ok with just being "told" to offer hospitality. If a situation like this occurs again feel free to "request" sanctuary and if i am up for company well and good and if i do not feel like having company you will need to make another plan for yourself. Friends ask, they don't assume.
Now, after saying things like this this type-A, ocd, self-absorbed person might be angry but she would know how things stood and you would not feel angry and imposed upon. I don't know how old this woman is, but it is certainly time she knew a little more about Manners 101 "it is not polite to invite ones self over to anothers house." Time for her to grow up and manner-up.
leslie and the pixies
ps while i was informing her of adult standards of behavior i would probably tell her that they also included keeping confidences and NOT repeating them to ANYONE. it is not ok to spread information told by one to other people. it is called GOSSIP and gossip is a big NO NO!
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  HEALING HAPPENS
Last edited by multipixie9; Oct 04, 2008 at 08:51 PM.
Reason: additional bit of opinionatedness
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