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I think that whatever you did and whatever he did, if you are uncomfortable seeing him now, that is what is important to you now. I hope you can find someone to talk to about that, so you can together make a plan to resolve the situation in a way that gives you more comfort.
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Now if thou would'st
When all have given him o'er
From death to life
Thou might'st him yet recover
-- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631
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