Quote:
Originally Posted by tuliptorn
My abusive, insensitive father is going to have a tricky surgery on Tuesday. Part of me wants him to get well. The other part wants him to die.
My problem is that if he lives I want to die more. I am trying with every fiber of my being to be supportive and be a good daughter to a male who abused me, my mother, brothers and sisters. They seem to have forgiven him.
There are many more factors at play here and they are all merging at once for me now and I am overwhelmed. I can't seem to stop this thought that goes it's either him or it's me. I am ashamed about it.
Thank you for reading this. I would appreciate nice and kindly support atm.
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Hello, I am new to forum and actually had joined because of my bipolar son...but I saw your post and wanted to reply to you.
I know exactly how you feel. My father abused me and my two half siblings. They never forgave him and didn't speak to him for over 20 years. I went through lots of therapy, but I finally decided that in order for me to be 'healthy' that I needed to move on. I 'forgave' him (the best way I could), but never forgot what he did. I knew that he would have to answer to God when he died and would pay for the damage that he caused us. Hope this helps, hang in there.
Tracie