I am in a bit of a quandry. My mother married her second husband again. This is her fourth marriage. And like all of her other boyfriends and husbands, he.....well, lets just say that he is one of the reasons for my flashbacks and nightmares. (he was by far the worst of all of them.) I have 2 children, one is a boy and one is a girl. My mother is having a sleepover sort of party for my niece's birthday at her house. We live about an hour apart, and she wants my daughter (who is 11) to spend the night at her house with the rest of the girls. She always gives each grandchild a huge party for their birthday. She is very good to my children, I wish I could say the same about myself. I was in fostercare for about 4 years, because of the stuff that happened, although neither of my siblings were. and I believe she is trying to make up for that. Anyway, I didn't mean to digress. I told my mother that my daughter could come for the party but could not sleep over. She thinks I am being irrational and so does her husband and my husband. My husband thinks it is just fine for her to go. He says he (my mother's husband) would be crazy to harm her in any way as she (our daughter) has a brown belt in Ai Ki Jitsu and he (my husband) is a deputy sheriff. I tried to tell him that this man is not intimidated by any of that. But everyone still thinks I am crazy. My son adores my mother and wants to be there too. He is only 5 (he'll be 6 soon) and believes that she is the best thing in the world. My mother is good to them like I said, But I believe it is my job as their mother to protect them and I say NO. With him my husband says because he is a boy and I was a girl that because of what he does for a living he doesn't think that our son is in any danger of falling victim to him. I still say NO!!
Am I being an over protected, insanely crazy *&%$* or am I doing the right thing?