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NOTHING EVER GOES IN MY FAVOR! I NEVER GET BREAKS!
WTF!

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Hi SJ -- I know this place you are in, and it's a bad one.

Once I posted a list in depression of all the ways that I failed and was a miserable, useless failure. A member named Dexter was kind enough to take the time to dispute every point on my list, one by one. There were one or two times where I didn't agree with his reframing, but for the most part, he made me see that there was alternate way of seeing what I was labeling was failure.

This is your illness talking to you. One of the techniques of cognitive behavior therapy is to dispute our distorted thinking, to argue ourself out of our black hole. I'll admit that the effect may be limited and short-lived. But the climb out of the black hole of darkest depression is accomplished in stages. So if I talk two steps up and out of the hole today, and fall back one and three-quarters, perhaps tomorrow or the day after I will advance a tiny bit higher.

Sometimes, when I am in the very darkest place, I can't argue with my black thoughts. Perhaps you can post the specific ways you think that you haven't gotten breaks. Perhaps some of us will find ways to help you reframe them. Perhaps in posting the list you will start to remember that an apparent defear or set back led to positive change or brought something positive into your life.

In the meantime, hugs if you want them.