I know you all on here notice and hear me, and that does mean a lot, but.. It would help if the people around me could just help a little more.. Like my Mum.. She doesn't know, but she shoould at least realise that you don't go tellign a 17 year old that she's put on loads of weight, she should know that that's bound to bring me right down..

I know my body needs nutrients, but I just can't give it that if it is just making me depressed..

I was the last to finish my dinner the other night, it was a roast and all I could taste was the fat, the grease.. Everything bad about it.. I felt so.. Pressured because.. Well.. Everyone was watching me... Waiting.. For me to finish..

I can't even do that, drink protein shakes.. The closest thing to energy you'll get me drinking is coffee or tea... With skimmed milk.. I didn't want breakfast this weekend, but my boyfriend wanted me to and I knew that.. I just didn't want to.. I did.. But I felt.. Awful for it.. It made me want to throw up.. Not.. to get rid of it.. Just because it made me so ill.. So sick..

I can't do it.. I just don't feel able to.. I'm so weak..