I'm posting in this forum way too often lately for myself
To everyone else struggling out there... I'm not very good at giving support when I'm feeling so bad.

But I'm struggling... every time I post here I get mountains of great advice and support and I feel so so horrible that I'm still feeling so depressed.
Today I'm on my own again... and yeh that's great 'cause my dad's not here. But, I feel so overwhelmed and just, I feel so depressed, my heart aches. I'm lonely... and I keep trying to push myself to go out and I will... I'm gonna force myself to do it. But, it's my boyfriend (or ex?) too. I want him to text me, phone me, get in touch with me and tell me that I mean something to him and he wants to be with me! But he wont. I'm trying my hardest not to break and text him. We haven't spoken since Friday... but I was kept occupied at the weekend, so no matter how much it was hurting, it was easier to stop myself begging him to show any kind of emotion! But now, 'cause I'm on my own and have no distractions it's harder.

I am so ******* useless!!!! I'm a waste of space and I don't deserve to be loved cause look at me! I'm just a mess and can't control myself!
I DESERVE to feel like this!