thanks for the responses. i still don't know what to do. the whole reason i'm obsessing about this in the first place is because my stupid T decided it was something i should be concerned about. before that it didn't bother me, now i can't get it out of my head and feel that something's wrong because it isn't happening.
my T suggested i talk to my boyfriend about it and we did discuss things. i know he wants to marry me at some point. but we never said when. to me, that would be like me proposing to him, which is what i don't want to happen and i feel that's the only thing that can come from me trying to talk to him about it. i almost feel as though its been ruined already just by discussing it in the first place. just not how i imagined this sort of thing went down. not at all like my childhood fantasies. but whatever.
i guess if i don't talk to him i really will go insane!