Yes, i feel fat too, i've been through anorexia, kind of bulimia, and then overeater..
I reached my ideal weight, but later i went even downer.. when i got to bottom (when i ate tooooooo much and gained all the weight i lost), i ask for help and... im getting fat again... is a horrible feeling.. and i dont know if im supposed to think like that when im recovering.. the truth is.... EDs are the hardest disorders to manage and.. heal...
Dont ever stop fighting..!!!