Monday and rough week already... just feeling worthless, useless, how can I ever be a good father with how I am. I don't know who I am Lines are so prominent and so blurred at the same times... hard to put into words or explain, and I feel stupid because I whined all weekend and dug myself a hole

Went to therapy today, felt awful as soon as I got back but eased up a little now. Not doing anything deep yet, taking it easy-ish.

Keeping the journal up, or trying to at least... feels so weird, like I'm trying to meet myself, doesn't make sense Been edgy... really scared of crowds and calling people suddenly... it's weird. Phone rings and it freaks me out... makes it a pain to talk to people when I want to go out and I won't call.

So just typing that out, still feeling stuck in that hole but trying to distract myself a little now