Kezzz:

I agree -- anger is destructive -- I think as long as I'm not associated with her or associating with her, I am fine. The anger begins to dissipate and I can get in touch with myself. When she's around, it's always about her.

A little background:
I was abandoned as a child. She left me for another man and her drugs. She was a drug addict and alcoholic most of my life. I didn't see her until I was 8 years old, when the parents divorced. She lost custody completely at this time but did get visitation. She was mentally and physically abusive to me. I wanted a mother so badly that I let her without telling. She chased me with a knife when I was 14 years old. If I hadn't kicked her in the gut she would've stabbed me. I know it. I saw it in her eyes. Ofcourse, that was my fault too, for making her mad. *****The following has bigtime possible triggers*****

She tried to kiss my husband, she climbed into the bed with me completely naked when I was 17 years old and newly married. I had to call her husband to come get her. What's bad is my 10 year old baby brother was in the room and saw the whole thing

I was sick the end of last year. I had a life threatening illness. She came to sit with me. I started having alot of difficulty breathing. My daughter was there (age 11) as well, I started having a bad coughing fit (thought I was dying) had nurses and doctors and everything in there and I looked at her and she just looked at me, turned and walked away. She would've left me there to die by myself with my 11 year old watching. That's just the tip of the iceberg. It's a long and sordid story.

Sorry if this is too much guys.

Take care,
Kimberly.