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Hi Brookie;
I know how you feel, I feel the same way as you, but it does sound like you need to find a counselor or a pdoc to help with some meds and talking, that is the only way you can get better. I've tried for years, but I finally had to get a counselor and it does help to let out the pain, and find out things about yourself that you had locked up inside of you.
Hang in there, keep posting and we will help as much as we can and try some of the chat rooms to talk with people as well.
Hugs.
Cindy
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Today I am going to spend more time looking for all the positive things about myself. Today I recongnize myself and acknowledge myself as a terrific human being.
by of: Time for Joy by Ruth Fishel
Cindy 
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