Okay.... I have been resticting myself all day to eat under 681 calories, and doing pretty well with that. I played DDR in workout mode until I burned off 111 calories, and was careful not to binge on anything. To tell the truth, even with my low calorie count [not that low, I know] I'd been eating pretty healthily. And about a half-an hour ago, I broke down and ate 6 cookies. I made a few phone calls, tried to think, but all I could think was "420 calories, oh god, I'm going to get even more fat". I then tried to throw up and am now contemplating whether to go back to DDR on workout mode until I've burned off those 420 calories. I have been thinking about food, and what to eat and not eat all day, only to sabotage myself now. So yeah not in a good place right now, trying to reach out, and I would really appreciate someone reaching back to me.

I know I don't want to be here. I don't want to go down this road again. I know I should just stop it [like my family says] and go back to healthy eating, but I'm stuck in this place right now. I need to control something, and I don't feel right without that control.

Anyways, thanks for listening.