(((((((((((GG))))))))))))))

I suffer from the "good and "evil" syndrome (I call it). I have always thought in some way shape or form that GOD was punishing me things I had done as a child. Like you, I was a wild child, drugs, drinking, sex and whatever else I felt like doing. I was free as a bird and didnt care what happened. After I experienced panic attacks, OCD (intrusive thoughts) religious doubts and stuff it sent me right into a depression where I just knew that GOD was punishing me for all the bad I had done in my life.
It took time for me to realize that life deals us a hand and sometimes its good and sometimes its bad. Its all how you play the hand. GOD is not punishing you and he is not punishing me either. He watches over us always. He loves us. I still to this day watch everything I do or say because I am afraid I am not living a "worthy" life. I think it always sticks in the back of my head. But as a fellow OCDer I know you understand that there is religiously oriented OCD. I have a site you can check out. It gives you the ins and outs. Maybe it will help you. It certainly gave me great insight to what and why my mind would move in the direction that it was. Take care GG. Please let me know if there is anything I can to for you. K?

http://www.homestead.com/westsuffolkpsych/sin.html