View Single Post
 
Old Mar 29, 2005, 07:10 PM
LMo's Avatar
LMo LMo is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Jan 2003
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,224
Holy Post, Batwoman!!!!! Thanks Miss Surfy!

1. WAS/IS depression his primary issue?
A: Well, HE didn't believe he was depressed. She had gone through the symptoms and DECIDED that he was depressed. Then kind of shoved "YOU ARE DEPRESSED AND NEED HELP" down his throat. Nobody likes being told how they feel and I imagine it was a major turnoff for him. Honestly, while we all have some of the symptoms of depression sometimes, he just didn't seem clinically depressed to me; the only evidence is that he pushed her away.

2. If it's not accurate, is it best not to point that out?
A: Maybe. I guess that's my question. If I were obsessed with an inaccurate idea, I would hope that my friends would intervene. But maybe she doesn't really want that.

3. Was she strong enough to hear it?
A: She took it well, but then again, many of the members were saying the exact same thing to her (in a more sugar-coated way) and she seemed to take it well then, too. But then her next post would be about how "The Beast" destroys all love.

4. Are people with depression often moved to break up with someone based on that?
A: Your last sentence here was powerful: "So with me the craving for privacy in my really bad times can easily outweigh the benefits of the relationship, and I may very well break up with someone... ". Well that's the thing... private people are private. Privacy requirements might be heightened when people don't feel good about themselves, but the fact remains that they are private and when one is depressed and their space is invaded with a partner who MUST KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON AND WHY ARE YOU PUSHING ME AWAY, then it seems to me the lack of respect for private space causes the breakup, rather than the feelings of depression.
However, I was sad when I read what you wrote here: "I may very well break up with someone... feeling it's definitely for their own good too." I would hope you let your partners have a say in that decision about what is for their 'own good'. As adults, each of us are capable of deciding what is for our own good, and I would hate to be dumped because someone else made that decision for me.

You may 'refrain' from posting often, MissSurfy, but when you DO post... man!!!!! Quality over quantity! Thank you SO MUCH!

__________________
thatsallicantypewithonehand