(((((((((((( earthmama ))))))))))) Please don't feel guilty for asking for support here, if reading the posts here triggers you, then you are practicing good self care by not reading them.
I am sorry that you are having a hard time right now, I hope that you are feeling better soon.
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Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis
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http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net