I think you need to "follow" her lead and not push so hard? It sounds to me (if I were her) like you're putting pressure on her to fix things according to your schedule. She needs to get herself straight and you need to get yourself straight. Drinking too much is not the answer to any question at any time, that doesn't have anything to do with your marriage, that has to do with you and what YOU want for YOU. Like she says, the marriage will happen or not according to whether you two individuals have your individual acts together. But she needs a bit of emotional room to get hers together and see what's what. What you say doesn't have any bearing, it's more what you do. If you don't yell at her, or whatever, then she'll get the message, telling her you won't is meaningless, she has to have the actual experience. You have to be there at home with her for the marriage to work so I don't think it will get solved in the 2-3 weeks you get off between. It will take a consistent effort on both of your parts together, after you have your individual acts together, to make the marriage work.

Give her room to think and do what she thinks best for herself. It's her life and she gets 100% of the vote on how to live it. Pressuring her according to your own schedule and ways of doing things might drive her away.