Just a thought: it is about SEX. Even though you are married with children and all that, it doesn't mean that there is not a lot of sexual repression in your husband, like many, many men. And that is one reason it is hidden: we have been taught that it is dirty and shameful and bad and should not be there at all. And yet it is... Looking at sex may be an attempt to affirm that we still resist the attempts to repress us. In a way it can be life-affirming (Isn't that what sex is? ) if it is not the sadistic kind.

Don't know if this applies to your husband or not. Just some suggestions.