wow dayzee
what you said is great, I could not have said it any better myself.
I too suffer from suicidal ideations and have since the age of 7 when my bro first raped me. It has not gotten any better being older either.
3 yrs ago I found out that my own son abused my own daughters. Talk about staring death in the face. I stare it in the face every day, every hour, every minute, every second. Our family has been and some still are in T today for all that has happened but it has and still is taking it toll on me "mom" espically after what I suffered as a child myself.
I have been married to the same man for 28 yrs now and he is so patient and is in T with me too once a week. But I feel he deserves so much better then me. I cant have normal S** without feeling dirty and cheap and without nightmares and flashbacks. So we have none now. No life for him. He would be better off without me around......see how that demon creeps into my thoughts? It is there all the time....
But thanks to my tender, loving T who is patient, caring and understanding I am learning there is Hope for me. I just have to keep reminding myself of that everyday.
HANG in there AngelGirl We all LOVE you and are here for you. PM me anytime tooo.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}