Sky's right, I just discovered that book this summer and wish I'd found it years sooner. Found it to be way more valuable (& a lot cheaper too!) than therapy. A lot of what you're going through sounds like what my boyfriend & I have gone through. He has put up with me through so much, but just barely. I still have awful, awful PTSD & just quit therapy after almost three & a half years. It didn't do anything for me and I'm out of money/insurance since I lost my job and can't work well anyway with all my PTSD & other issues. Really awful situation to be in, so I too would love to know where one learns coping skills, etc etc if therapy doesn't help or teach any of that stuff. And how one holds a job when they have PTSD from hell.

Last year in therapy, I guess my T had finally gotten sick of hearing me complain about my relationship so much that he finally referred me to a couples T. That has done way more for us and for me than my individual therapy has. My bf & I used to fight big time over the housework too. I used to worry that the couples T would only believe my bf because he's not mentally insane and unstable like me, he's smart, successful, and a pretty normal person. I'm the complete opposite, so who's going to have more credibility, right? And I knew my bf would put on his goldenboy face in there and not be the same way at all in there that he was with me.

Well a lot of my paranoias and fears came true, with the exception of the couples T not believing me. And a lot of times my bf would say different things in there or act like he felt something differently than he really did. We would fight in there so badly that for months we couldn't go to the sessions together. Well after about six months, things started to change significantly. Things that I think helped were that the couples T explained to him what was going on based on my background & the reasons for my often erratic & insane behavior & reactions. My bf finally began to understand that a lot of those bizarre things weren't on purpose and I wasn't doing them intentionally like he had assumed. He also learned how some of the things he was saying or doing weren't the most helpful or how they were triggering bad things from my past. Plus I learned more about my bf's issues too!

It would take too long to go into all the changes it's brought about in our relationship, but believe me, we were dangling by a thread. I still can't believe all the stuff he's done for me now. Or all the stuff I'm willing to do for him. Also, give him books to read on your disorders if you feel comfortable with that and if he'd be willing to read them. That will help him understand too.

I know this is long, but I also know what it's like to be at wit's end with everything gone wrong in life and not one aspect is okay. And not having anything or anyone to help. If your bf says or does stuff differently in therapy, call him out on it, or ask to see the therapist separately without your bf there. That helps a lot and you don't have to worry about your bf being there to say or do something different than at home. You can tell it like it really is based on your side.

The only thing I've found to help with anger is to pound it out of my body physically. Exercise is good for that. All the other things I know of would be considered destructive or bad (which just makes me even madder!). I haven't found anything to get rid of sadness though. And I sure as hell don't know how to get rid of PTSD. I'm beginning to think it's impossible. So keep working on the relationship stuff, that's more mendable apparently!