well, to not take meds is healthier anyway.. i dont like pills, i try not to take tylenol even, but when i was on meds i wasnt sad but i wasnt happy and i missed being happy. I tried about 5 different kinds and they all caused weight gain as well. Plus it got to the point then when i took the pills i would gag, it was as if my body cant take pills daily. I am working on control. it is soo hard but i have lived with these feelings since i was a kid and when i lost my feelings i felt.. weird. it was great that i stopped crying, but i litterally had no feelings. no happy no sad no joy, just sat there emotionless, the complete opposite now. Im not sure if this is understandable but i cant think of how to describe it...