Every day I live with the past,
Everyday I can feel them....
I know that it follows me like my own shadow...
My secrets, that I can never ever tell to anyone irl besides a thearpist.
We can never ever tell, it would break them...

I want to move past it all...I'm trying too...being here helps.......

Just..feels like I'm stuck...I take one step ahead, I take two steps back..

I wish I had an eraser to just wipe away that part of my life........

But I can't and I am trying to come to terms with it....

It's just when the flashbacks come, and I have body memories....that is when it gets so hard, when I can feel them...I can feel it all, when I rember all the words they say... when I feel like a giant pile of slime..when I feel like I was nothing but a toy to them to be thrown away after they got their pleasure...that is when I crack...that is when I drown under the pressure...

I don't want to be silent...but I don't want to say it outloud irl
I can never tell irl...it would kill my parents....
I would have to live with those looks....
those sympathy, poor damaged kid, looks......

Just feeling bitter today, and angry, I'm sorry I don't mean to keep dragging everyone down...