All of you are so nice to me and others. There is so much support here, all non judgmental. And I care so much for each of you. You can't know how much your remarks mean to me.
This is what I see in your words and this is what my logical brain tells me.

But my illogical brain doesn't feel that way at all. These are not questions for you to answer. I just need to get them out there.

Is it normal for me to react the wrong way to kind remarks?
Should I get defensive when someone tells me that I've been helpful or that I'm a nice guy?
Why should I feel like a creep for telling the truth about things?
Why should I feel so alone in a group of people?
Why should I disengage from conversations?
Why does success make me feel like a phony?

T