I've only written a few times and I've been hesitant to write in the D&S section, because I was living in denial for so long that this was the best sub-forum for me. I've read a lot of other posts and so many people have gone through things similar to me, but I wonder if anyone has had ALL of them. The Narcissism, possible sociopath, pathological lying, knowing the exact right thing to say to me to make me want to work things out "all I need is you, the other women don't mean anything", the online addiction... eventually admitting that these other people weren't just online, but were in-person dates and partners, getting blood tested, continuing to meet and sleep with new people - all the while going to therapy on his own, couples therapy, and working with me to make things better and back to how they were. It has taken me so long to realize the person I knew and loved for so long is just gone. There is major depression. There is a complete lack of responsibility - financial or otherwise; total inability to keep a job more than a few years because there is no boss in the world that could possibly know more than him. There was the lying, pretending to try to fix things, and still lying - meeting new people and telling them we were divorced and he was a single dad. Telling each woman something different about his job, when in truth, he has no job. He's living the free life on disability so no motivation to get a new job.
He's been out of the house since one day after getting caught again in all the lies, he just didn't come home. A little difficult for our preschooler to understand. Then checked himself in to the psych unit in a hospital and gave someone (who knows who?) our car/house keys. After the week there he's been living with his mom. He said he wanted to fix things but has since decided that actually, his needs just aren't fully met by being married, and he's just not cut out for it. So he's nasty to me, nasty to his mom, still expects to be taken care of and waited on, lays out in the sun all day, goes out late every night and doesn't even stay at his mother's house half the time. He has totally abandoned our child and says he misses him, but doesn't ever call.

I find myself wishing he has a brain tumor or something that could explain how a person could so drastically change. For so many years before and during marriage we were inseparable. We had the relationship that friends said they wished they could find. How does someone go from that to where he is now? It's getting easier and easier for me to forget about the good times and realize it's over. But what for my son? Right now I truly think his life is better with out his father anywhere near him. But in the long run will he resent me for keeping him away? Will he grow up to be bitter because his father wasn't in his life? I'm not saying anything negative about his dad to him now, but I can't imagine co-parenting. I can't imagine letting him spend a weekend with this man who is a completely different person every time I see him.
If it were a brain tumor, maybe they could remove it and he'd be back?! It wouldn't matter for me. I'm done. But maybe I could think about trusting him near my son.
I don't really have any specific questions or advice to ask for at this point. I'm still so much in shock about it all. But I'd be interested to hear others' thoughts or similar experiences and what has worked (or not) for them. Thank you.