Hello, I'm new here and have tried 2 reach out in my community 4 help with no success. I am a single mom of 2 kids (13 F, 6 M) and didn't think of myself as a depressed person until recently. Taking care of my kids and myself has become really hard. At 33, my health took a turn 4 the worse and I had emergency GallBladder removal surgery a few months ago in July, but I feel like I've been in bed since late January, when one day I shut my cell phone off and just never turned it back on. I just didn't feel like talking 2 any of my friends and have since become really isolated. My guess is that over the last winter I gained about 15 pounds and never got it under control so now it over 30 pounds heavier, in one way I feel obsessively uncomfortable in my own skin 24/7, but on the other hand I just don't care or too scared to risk anymore of my health by using diet pills or not eating. I used 2 be a person who cared about things and fight 4 what I believed in, but just don't have it in me anymore, and really worried that it's unheathy 4 my kids 2 be witnessing this day-by-day. Just keep telling myself that it will get better, then I'll be a better mom, but now I'm facing that it's getting worse rather than better. Then a part of me tells me that it's just the circumstances, and that a big part of the problem is that I keep fighting 2 get child support, but unsucessful for 12 years straight. After pushing away all my friends and family because I didn't want them 2 see this big downward spirial, I am wondering what someone does with their children when they come 2 the realization that they may not be healthy enough 2 support them and take care of them anymore. I also do NOT drink, smoke, or do drugs. Plus, I don't know what 2 expect posting something like this, but guess it can't hurt.

Thanks 4 reading this...