I've been in your situation, I feel for you.

In my case I had to force myself to keep asking for help. Eventually I did find things that worked.

If you have any family or friends who are safe you might want to go ahead and contact them, let them see what you are going through.

You may need to say some version of "I need help" over and over again until someone hears you and helps. There is help available.

Is there a crisis hot line available to you that also gives info on community resources? Is there respite care available, someone who can help you with child care?

Are you in therapy?