hi jessica, i just logged in and havent read any other posts you may have made elsewhere so i apologize if this is post-dated...

lets think about understandings for a minute... its ok to feel whatever you feel in this moment.. feelings are the materials of the moment.. we can choose them....

accept yourself for who you are... figure out the place you want to be.. there are a lot of factors involved in arriving to that place... we all desire peace and happiness, love and kindness, caring and friendships... decide you WILL have those in your life no matter what else might be happening...

you can claim it for yourself right now and there is no person or thing which can stop you from feeling joy if you choose too...

so knowing that, recognize the powerful ability you have to produce the exact emotion you want to feel.. even if only for a moment, it is you who made it real within yourself... you only need to extend the period of time you feel it for now...

what things can give you those feelings? instead of aiming for the physical objects to provide you with those emotions, claim those emotions from thin air, from out of nowhere so to speak.. those emotions are yours simply because you can create them without any other stimuli... thats an amazing ability.. you can use that power any time you choose to feel better... give yourself permission to feel better and it can then happen...

love yourself first and you can then love others to the fullest... no one intended harm i'm sure jessica.. let love in and it is able to do what you imagine it will....

i hope today is better for you in some way..