Thank you, CedarS for your understanding of the situation. It's so hard not to focus on what will happen years from now. Part of me believes that of course my son will be fine and respect my decision to get us away from such a horrible situation, and part of me fears that he will have anger issues of his own maybe at me, maybe at his poor excuse for a father, and maybe both. I know all I can do is raise him with the values that are important to me and hope that he will be healthy and happy.

And it's so true about grieving. I am grieving the loss of a relationship that I had for so long, of the family that I thought I'd have for years and years to come. Right now I'm feeling so much anger. I just feel like the rug was snatched out from under me for no good reason, and there's nothing I can do about it.