(((((((((((((((beadlady)))))))))))))))
That would be too hard for me, I think, to have to remember everything. My T said I don't have to and that often times when you remember some type of memory and deal with that, it helps take care of similar memories. We mostly deal with living today though and deal with things that come up through that so maybe my T has a different approach overall.

I do think, however, that if the brain brings a memory up on its own, without being forced out due to events, then that means the brain is ready to deal with it. When some stuff was going on in my life that caused a flood of memories, they came out and then went back behind a barrier. My only memory of them is that they were horrid but I don't have the content. I think it was triggered by the events going on in my life at that time and because my brain wasn't ready to deal with it, it got pushed back again.

But, I have had some memories come through without any events. While they have been horrid too, I have those memories now and am working through how to keep them from making me curl up in a ball and want to die. T knows a lot of stuff about me just through being triggered and switched, but she doesn't tell me what she knows. She said it could cause things to be worse and when my brain is ready, it will share.

It might be that eventually we will have all our memories and major life events, but I finally had to decide for myself not to worry about that aspect. What I want more is to be able to function in my day and to be able to own my day. Some days are extra hard, that's for sure, but I'm hopeful that as we all get stronger, our days can be better.

Hang in there beadlady. You are very cared for.