Griffe, no one can get used to that. You are fighting yourself. Inside you know that you are hurt but you won't let yourself feel like you need to feel. You are fighting your feelings so much. This is exhausting. You as that little 4 year old was at fault for what your father chose to do? What control did you have as a 4 yr old? Your father had all the power. Why won't you place the blame where it belongs? Why are you carrying all the burden for your father? Griffe, it isn't your's to carry....