it's an odd thing, but sometimes the harder we push, the less we are able to do.
honestly, i think you have enough input that you should proceed to help yourself with therapy.
my mind refused to yield things up sometimes for long periods of time even when there was other reliable input. i think i was so terrified that my mind did some very extensive protections and took a very long time to feel able to deal with actual true memory.
if you would validate the sensory input and other things i think it would help you and perhaps free the part of you that is so reluctant to return information. the need for help is the same whether something awful happened or something "relatively" minor happened your need for healing is the same.
speaking for myself, i had very violent sexual abuse and other abuse and i believed my abusers implicitly when they said they would kill me slowly if i ever told and i kept some things secret deeply inside me for over 50 years.
i hope you can find help and peace
__________________
  HEALING HAPPENS
|