((((((((((cafegrrrl))))))))) I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. Do you have a t? Believe me I know how sometimes it feels like there's no help. Please don't give up. Maybe talking about it will help. Feel free to pm me if you'd like.
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"We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut