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I'm new to PC, so please bear with me as I try to get used to the site. I'm wondering if there are others in this forum like me who are older and still dealing with an eating disorder? I'm am 39 and maybe unlike some developed my eating disorder (anorexia) about 8 years ago or so.
I was hospitalized twice about 6 years ago or so and now find myself slipping into many of my old habits. I have not been in any kind of therapy for a couple of years as things "seemed" to be better, but for some reason now I'm starting to slip again.
I truly don't really know why. I just recently got remarried and should be the happiest I've ever been, but I'm not. Don't get me wrong, my husband is wonderful and has always been supportive of me, but he doesn't understand this part of me. He is constantly on me to "just eat", but doesn't get that it isn't about the eating for me, it's the fact of me being in control of one thing in my life. I know he means well and is just concerned about me, but some days, it just gets to be too much.
I know that all I'm doing is hurting my body and putting myself in a life threatening situation, but I don't know how to get this "out" of me for good. I've been thinking of going to therapy again but to be honest I am afraid. I don't want to be put on a ton of meds and don't want to be thrown back into the hospital. So I don't know what other options there really are.
I'm sorry I know I'm kind of rambling on but I honestly don't know who else to talk to. No one in my family understands this disorder and only tend to get angry with me so I can't talk to them. I know it isn't fair to do this to my husband and my son. I just don't know what to do, I'm really lost and afraid right now.
Well, thanks at least for listening.
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