I know what you mean. Today I went from fairly stable (a little down) to super depressed, to out right pissed, and back down to depressed. I'm not diagnosed, I haven't seeked help because I don't want to be labeled. I don't want to have it confirmed, because I don't want to have it. Anyway, I only told one person about it, and today on the bus she kept pestering me about what was wrong, and I told her she was an idiot if she couldn't figure it out. finally, I had to tell her, and she had the nerve to tell me that I'm just going through a normal phase. Yeah, going from suicidal to "high on life" in one day is completely normal...she doesn't know that though- I have told her very little, and I basically told her to shut up because I wasn't going to deal with her. So she apparently was in a happy mood, and started making high pitched noises and bopping up and down, which was the most irritating thing in the world at the momment, so I told her to stop, and she didn't. I raised my voice and warned her again that I wasn't joking, and she needed to stop. She still didn't stop. I picked up my books and started to slam her with them, she put her arms up and I stopped just short of hitting her. I told her to move to another seat because I wasn't going to be able to handle her. Not today. She said there was nowhere to sit, and continued. I smacked her shoulder, and yelled at her. people looked over, and she started to say "you know, maybe you are, sad, happy, angry..." but at this point people were looking at us, so I screamed "No ****ing DUH!" and tried to push her off the seat. she caught herself by grabbing onto the next seat, and didn't say a word for the rest of the ride home. When I'm angry, I honestly don't know what to do with myself. I try to take deep breaths and bring myself out of the situation- like on the bus, i stared out the window, breathed deeply, and tried to ignore her next to me. One thing that honestly does help me deal with the situation right then, but really isn't a good coping method AT ALL is thinking about SI, and imagining it...but it also adds anxiety to hurry up and get home.

I should stop now- the blind leading the blind is never good, is it?