Thank you all for your kind words of support. Ugh, 3 years of grieving... it's good to have a realistic understanding of what I'm in for, but it just sounds so horrible. I've noticed that when I tell friends what has gone on (now that I'm done "protecting him" by not telling people the whole truth) it feels so surreal that I can tell it without getting upset. But it's when people tell me they're so sorry for how much I'm going through it really hits home that this really truly is happening to me. And to my son...