I'm sure that the "reality" of it has hit since you have tried so hard to repair the relationship & thus think he will "change." You have a lot to mourn--your marriage, your future, your loss of your love of your life...

You need some comforting, some reassurance that you are taking the right way through some really rough waters.

So we are here for you.

For some reason I just feel so deeply for you.--Suzy