My brain is still in that locked box. I have found if I talk to myself "while alone", when I am sad or fearful it seems to slow the ebb of fear and depression. I don't know why it works now when it did not before. My only thought to this is I have excepted the possibility of dissociation and more, not closing my eyes to it. And so maybe I have found a key to unlock the secerts of my mind. Thanks for all your helpful thoughts & prayers. I see my T on Monday, and I will ask her these questions of hidden anger.