Hey everyone, hugs and thank you for all the words of encouragement. And thank you for thinking of me. I did not have a good night yesterday. I ended up staying up most of the night in the bathroom pulling out my hair. I always hate myself even more when I do that. I cut before that. That I don't hate myself for.

Even after reading all that coaxing, I still don't feel like talking about the other stuff I had tried to write about because it seems so trivial and stupid. I guess I feel too dead to write about it.

Then today I had a weird connection between some PTSD/smell oriented kind of stuff and that's a little unsettling. Plus it happened near a place where I keep having weird reactions but not knowing why and I was doing the same stuff again as when it's happened before. Really bothersome. So a new disturbance. You know, the disturbance of the day sort of thing because you weren't upset enough to begin with. Ever feel like you're buried & suffocating in issues?