Hello Melissa, I too am Melissa. Sorry to know another person has been hurt this way. I have alot of horror stories from my childhood and I tell them like a movie I saw last week. I will not allow pain from my childhood to overcome my adult life. You should be the same way. That man deserves a hard exit. Dont feel guilty for the sins he's done. You should worry about your family and your self. You can forgive him for what he has done but that does not mean loving the person he is or was. I make excuses for those who have hurt me. She cant help it thats the way she was raised or he's not right in the head. And it really does help me pass through the pain. Your husband might have a clue to what you are going through if he has been there for ten years. Don't shut him out. Be strong Melissa be strong for yourself and your family. Make sure your children never have these issue's in their own lives. Thats how I focus and keep my head up. My daughter will never. I mean never deal with the things I have delt with in my life. The thought of providing a happy life for some one makes my pain worth while. Be a model in life for those around you. Show them you are strong. Good luck!