yesitsme, sorry i didn't see your question before

I usually like the fact that T trusts me to bring it up. But sometimes I feel like she doesn't take my si very seriously, and for some reason it makes me think she doesn't care. Sometimes I convince myself that she doesn't care whether or not I cut- and that thought kind of hurts me.

Rap and I have the same T and back when the T asked Rap to agree not to do any significant harm.... I kind of felt like T didn't care as much about me. She has NEVER asked me to agree to anything of the sort. Never asked me not to cut, and never asked me not to do any major damage. And the thing is that I HAVE injured myself seriously enough that I should have had medical attention. I don't know why T never asked me to agree to those things, and it kind of hurts.

So I guess most of the time, I think T and I should talk a lot more about my si and establish some rules, etc. I realize it's not very rational thinking on my part, but sometimes I think that T doesn't care if I choose to cut or to talk it out with her first. In fact, I sometimes believe that she would rather I cut than talk it out with her first. But this is probably not rational thinking on my part. It's probably the voice of an abused/neglected child and not so much based on reality.

Anyway, is that more than you wanted to know? And did I even answer the question?