You sound like you're at your wit's end...you're probably feeling pretty stressed right now. i hope i can help you with my answer.......here goes. you said that you and your mother hate each other? how is that played out? tone of voice? angry words? sarcasm? facial gestures? if you've exhibited any of the above behavior, your daughter has picked up on it. if there is tension where there is a child, they are aware of it. totally. i'm no child expert, but i've been around enough children to learn that they are like little sponges. if it's there, they soak it up.
for the attachment issue, i believe that is probably her age. if you have friends with small children, it would be good to introduce her to them and ease out of the 24/7 that you must be in. of if there is a very good day care nearby, take her for the minimum amount of time. i gather you don't leave her with your mother?? if you can do that, by all means use your mother for a sitter..and remember no baby has ever cried themselves to death..... hope this helps you. pat