Yo that is confusing or it is too late for my brain to comprehend. Mal, is right. I have been in a relationship for many years and my female partner seems to only want sex when she is reeling the guy in or threatened of loosing him. Needless to say between weathering raising her already at risk kids,weathering health issues and building a house there has not been alot of sex. Recently I had time alone while she went away and I found myself and my labido again. I am still alive!! I am seriously considering ending this relationship and not just because the lack of sexual intimacy but it has certainly had a repressive and eroding effect on the relationship of 12 years. devito