Jen, I really don't think there's any one way to overcome depression or to begin loving yourself. But here's something to think about. These two questions are so totally related to each other. I'm depressed and therefore I don't love myself or vice versa. You seem to fall into the "I'm depressed because I don't love myself category." But here's what I see. You mentioned that while you were growing up you had no one to love you. First of all, that's going to cause severe self esteem problems which lead to depression. And because of the early depression and lack of self esteem you acted out in ways that you seem to now regret. Again, that causes further damage to the self esteem and further feeds the depression. So now here you are years later. Let's try to find some of the positives in the mess of the past so that we can start to move on. You said that the result or your promiscuity in your early years was the birth of two children. Isn't that a big positive? I mean, even though you might not look back proudly at your actions you have two children that came from it. Hell, that'd make me look at it from another point of view. Try reading your origonal post again. See how you tell the story of how one thing led to another? No love as a child leads to drugs, sex, etc... and so on and so forth? You just hit on the root of your problems... or one of them. So now what you have to do is ask yourself "Was it my fault that there was no one to love me as a child?" The depression and guilt you feel about the things that have happened in your life will tell you yes every time but the truth is that you were a child. How can a child do anything to deserve not being loved? Not your fault in any way, shape or form. So if you believe what I'm saying to you, then you know that these things that happened are the result of the actions of someone else. Like me... my drug abuse was me looking for an escape from the pain inflicted on me by others when I was a little boy. My fault? No. Does that mean that if none of this happened to me I would never have turned to drugs... not necessarily. Once you begin to see that the things you've done that make you feel guilty were the results of the actions of others when you were a young and impressionable child, you can begin to forgive yourself for those very things. If you ask me, that's the first step to loving yourself. I don't blame you for feeling depressed after reading this glimpse into your past. It's par for the course. So can you overcome this depression? Quite possibly. Therapy is the key here IMHO. Through therapy, you will begin to see how wonderful you really are. I hope that I've in no way offended you. I don't mean any offense by my words. I hope that some of this, or all of it, makes sense. Much love to you my dear friend.

Ry