MountainHigh, welcome to PC. Getting a divorce is the hardest thing I have ever done. I know where you are at. It's OK to let yourself feel sad. It IS sad that such a long partnership is ending. When we go into marriage, we intend it to last forever, and the dream dies hard. Even if you want to get divorced. it's still painful.

I have been married 21 years, separated for almost 1 year, and our divorce will be final sometime in the next 3 months. It is mostly amicable and we are doing a good job co-parenting. We have a daughter who just began college and lives out of state, and a daughter who just started high school. Today I was cleaning up the basement (he left tons of stuff and told me to just throw it all out), and I found an old birthday card my H gave me on my birthday, the one right after the birth of our first child. It was a poem he wrote and typed up, and he signed it, "I love you." I read that and cried. I wonder, whatever happened to those days? I don't even remember being in love. I think I was too young to have a good relationship. I didn't know how. If I ever do it again, I think I will do better.

Hope you will come around often and let us know how you're doing.