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Shangrala · Oct 13, 2008, 03:08 AM

Over the years I have come to take notice of how most adults (not all), seem to discredit kids for the intelligence that they have, and don't acknowledge the respect that they deserve. Why is that?

Could it be because throughout the years of my upbringing (now 50), as children we were taught that kids are meant to be seen and not heard, to naturally respect their elders with absolutely no indication of rebellion, (though it couldn't stop us from thinking about it). I couldn't even roll my eyes at my mother without knowing that that would be followed by a swift smack from the back of her hand.
With that as a major influence in the foundation of our raisings, could it also be that we just naturally accepted the fact that, as children, we simply were not given that acknowledgement of respect, or credited for our intelligence? Therefore, we assume the same for our children's generation?

I, for one, am not only more than aware that our children's generation are more intelligent than what we were at that age, but make it a point to acknowledge to them that they also deserve respect as people.

Last year I was told by one of my daughter's 6th grade teachers that the kids now days demand respect from adults first before they provide it to us in return. That alone is such contradictions to that which we were raised to believe and perhaps may explain why most adults now still overlook that.
I realize that being an adult is a full time job, but must that blind some of us to the fact that our children are people too and therefore rightly deserve the same respect that we demand from them? After all, respect is something, which is earned and requires constant attention to maintain.

It is a known fact that on a daily basis our children must face much greater levels of stress than we could have even imagined when we were at that age. Isn't that alone enough to grant them with what they already have so rightly earned? And with their higher level of intelligence, isn't the act of refusing them that right a signal to them that we, in fact, view them as a lesser person, therefore are merely insulting them?
It makes little sense to me how we as adults expect our children of this day and age to do as we say and not as we do. When in fact, it is our very children who usually seem to predict what it is that we will be saying before we even say it. And what amazes me is that the majority of adults don't even realize this happening, yet are baffled as to why this constant major conflict continues and worsens.

Another factor is as with many children in this age of technology, computers play the influential role of their future. Anymore, the mere thought of a computer immediately associates the inclusion of the Internet. How many people do we personally know who doesn't have the Internet? I know of very few, if only a couple. And with the Internet comes exposure to more than what we would our children be subjected to.
I allow my 13 year old daughter to use the Internet freely, (with of course the necessary parental blocking from those unfavored sites).
Because of the fact that our household is quite Internet-associated, my daughter has a high level of Internet savvy with well-refined sense of "netequette". She has been exposed to the use of computers since the age of two, and is very aware of the rules associated to using the Internet. Because of this, monitoring my daughter's activity is not a criteria, (however, it certainly doesn't hurt having my own personal system stationed adjacent to hers).
With her approaching the "teen-social" years, she has made a number of good friends online through the use of MSN, Skype, some camcorder use and a couple of her online multi-player games. All the while I have made note to the reluctance from most of her friend’s parents of their children actually making these friends online.
What has worked well for my daughter and me regarding any possible issues resulting from these Internet friendships is to establish and maintain an open relationship with my daughter and any of her friends who were receptive of the idea. I believe that because of this approach of mine, I have developed a mutual level of respect and trust with many of her friends.
However, it has amazed me of the fact that the majority of these kids has expressed that their parents are unaware of their Internet friendships and would be punished for even establishing them.

Is it possible that I am overly optimistic regarding my approach? Am I being too hopeful?
I am only curious to know the opinions of other adults out there. Would be interesting to discover if my outlook is, in fact, shared by others.

I apologise for the extensiveness of this post.
(I have the tendency to babble

).
Thanks for your time.