TRIGGER TRIGGER TRIGGER PLEASE BE CAREFUL

This is not a place that l ususally post as the shame that l feel from cutting prevents me from doingalthough lhave made some comments but then l run and hide. l have spoken with quite a few people who all say to try to post here so here l am trying to control this brewing panic attack while typing this. Its hard so hard to admit and the shame and disgust l feelis eating away inside of me.
Each time l think ok l will cut no more it is there driving me look for new ways to deal---they not work----l tryied so hard l failed again
Triggered bad yesterday again and once more cut and cut and cut and now so sore so much shame so much disgust so much regret why l not tronger why cant l do this simple thing
Flashbacks are bad right now cus stress levels through roof and yet still l cant not cut.....
Trigger.......Flashbacks.......Cut.........Shame.........Disgust.......Flashbacks

when does it stop how it stop how can l not be so weak how l get strong
lned to be gud l know l shud but it be so hadr to be gud . plese not be mad know l am bda bad bad l tyr be gud.......lgotta go i sorry so sorry