Just read it. You write that you become anxious and enraged. Do you think that this might interfere with thinking this through? Also, I am assuming that when this happens it sends you back in time and all of your anger and anxiety from all the past times floods you? If this happens it might make you feel like that small child again and then you feel all helpless and stuff and this makes it even harder to work through?

The person that you are having difficulty with, does she remind you of anyone in your past who you had trouble with?