Dear Curley,
Monogamous relationships, are best when they exist without formality. You enjoy each others presence, and pleasures, in the present, without pressure of a contract.
Once, you formally commit to each other, you are engaging in a contract, putting constraints on the future. The two of you, are conceding a liberty, you both once had. Regardless, if one would ever exercise this liberty, there is a sense of loss. Some of the excitement of living in the present is lost, and replaced with a duty to the future. This may be particularly hard, on someone, with atypical, mood-reactive depression.
Commit to your man, tell him you are his exclusively, and unconditionally. Tell him, he may have any other woman he wants, any time he wants. Reject, any reciprocity on his part. Most important, please, be sure you mean it. You can't make others commit to you. You can commit to them. The security you seek, will be a function of your commitment.
Your unconditional commitment, is far more powerful, than any verbal contract for maintaining a monogamous relationship. Please bear in mind, your unconditional commitment, is yours to rescind at will.
I wish you the best,
Larry
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