I didn't want to go. An hour of "I don't want to be here". I tried to tell her that when I feel depressed lately I don't sit and cry. I sit in my room and watch tv- something that interests me. School interests me, but taking tests does not. We went round and round what this meant. Then she wrote out a schedule for me when to study what! Um... no! If I already am not motivated- for whatever reason- a schedule and a "you must" will push me the other direction.

Somewhere in there, she asked if I was using drugs- because I told her about this maddening itching. I said no. she asked if I was on my scripts. I said yes. I told her about takng zyrtek. No other ideas on the itching! I had to come home and take a shower. I don't know how long this will last. I changed my sheets, too. Shaved. Took a zyrtek. Its like I swallowed feathers- PLUS the crumbs thing! I told BF about what SW said and he said "She asked about heroin?" I said "Heroin??" and he said "That makes you itch." Yeah- creative answer but NOPE.

I told SW that my sleep's been messed up. Her answer was to not stay up so late. All these "pat" answers that I should KNOW logically. Then she sends me away- with "go to school, walk more, and study more". Yeah- again, logical. Not working for me right now. Sometimes I will laugh at things, and it isn't as if things don't interest me. But I don't think SW understood that.

Its my eldest's birthday, or I'd go lose myself somewhere. Rent a hotel room and get lost- nobody could find me. When he gets home I have his presents for him. I already said "Happy Birthday" around 6 this morning.

I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't stop itching!!! I guess call my psych. dr.